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Missed Opportunity: Bottoms Up Dispenser

28 January 2011

Tuesday night, LeeAnne and I were lucky enough to be in attendance at the Flyers’ 1,000th regular-season home victory. Unbeknownst to me, though, were the four other VIPs in attendance: the Bottoms Up Beer Dispenser that pours beer from the bottom of the cup using a fancy magnet system.  It can pour a beer in five seconds and is being touted as the gadget that will eliminate the beer line.  As many have already noted, it is such a relief to hear that the already generally classless Flyers fans will be able to get more beer into themselves quicker than ever. Oh, happy day. (Please note: I am a Flyers fan. Just not a classless one.)

Had I known this beer-revolutionizing invention was making its Philadelphia sports debut, I might have tried to seek it out to see what all the hype was about.  Unfortunately, I was busy trying to seek out beer that tasted good and had some substance to it—this time around in the form of Redhook’s Longhammer IPA.  Maybe the next game we go to I’ll check it out; hopefully before then I’ll be able to also get my hands on a Miller Lite vortex bottle and can compare the two Nobel-worthy inventions.

I’m guessing, as cool and useless and the vortex bottle seems, the Bottoms Up dispenser will beat it by a landslide, because fast and terrible beer isn’t the only thing you get from the dispenser.  As Comcast-Spectacor’s Ike Richman says of the magnet that lets the beer come through the bottom of the cup, “When you’re done, you have a little take-home magnet to take home and put on your refrigerator.”

Hot damn.

Beer Revolution, now with classy souvenirs!

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